What Does My Iman Mean To Me?
As-salaam Alaykum 💕
Ya Allah, it’s been so long! Till this very morning, I didn’t have any intention of writing or dropping any piece but here I am, Alhamdullilah. 😍
This is more of a personal post and I would like to share and interact. I look forward to hearing from you 😁.
Since a few weeks back, I find myself battling with my Iman, I feel it reducing, the level in the jar diminishing slowly, the thought alone weakens me as I think to myself that I love the level of iman I’ve found myself over the months and I don’t want to lose it. The thought makes me incredibly sad and paralyzes me emotionally, I look frantically towards all my acts of Ibadah, to the “if” and “how” they’re lacking and what I can do to help jumpstart it. Sadly, I did a lot but I still felt it slipping through my fingers.
Then this morning of rumination came as the splatter of the rain downs my hearing and my mind wonders on how this rain falls only due to the Leave of My Lord, the extent of His Power, Might and Greatness that my mind cannot grasp in its entirety. This realization brought about the feeling of my dwindling iman, then it occurred to me, “What does my Iman truly mean to me?”
Iman to me Rafiat, is my personal unfiltered connection to Ya Rabb, My Creator. A connection filled with so much love, hope, fear, submission, and trust in Ar- Rahman, Ar-Raheem. A connection of love, gratitude and patience so deep that it fills my heart and soul with Noor always, as I sleep at night and wake in the morning, go about my dealings as a proof of His Infinite Mercy upon me because I know My Lord doesn’t forsake His own.
My Iman is me, it is what I embody, it is what I strive to keep, it’s my identity, the way I stand before My Rabb, the way My Lord perceives me, what He sees in my heart. My iman is what I battle the woes of this dunya for, strive against my own nafs for, it’s my deeds and the perfection in those deeds which will be placed before me in front of My Lord on the Day of Qiyamah. It is that which requires tender love and attention, which continues to bloom with all the right nutrients and wither away if overlooked.
For without it I would be truly lost and forsaken, the thought of it even diminishing in the slightest instills such fear and trust in Ya Rabb, for I know guidance to Him belongs to Him and He bestows on whom He Wishes. To me, my Iman soaring high or maintaining is an attestation of The Love of Al-Wadud and The Guidance of Al-Hadi upon me.
I felt so much relief in my heart as I put these words out because it wasn’t until I wrote that I truly realized the weight of my Iman and what I’m striving to keep, and all these above words is just the scratch on the surface of what it truly means to me because words cannot even begin to explain it going deeper.
It also occurred to me that the ability for me to know my Iman is reducing and it causing a stir in my heart is a pure example of Allah’s rahma upon my soul because my heart and soul knows an unexplainable peace with an Iman that never diminishes.
As I ponder on these thoughts, I realize that it’s not just mere words whenever I talk about iman and if I don’t fasten my belts through seeking the Help of My Rabb, it is my entire being that fades away and I become nothing but a speck of dust on the surface of this dunya without it.
Enough said about me, writing this early morning brings about a sense of relief washing over me, for I know what I must do and with The Help and Guidance of Allah in doing them -La hawla wa la quwatta Ilah bilah-.
I would like to know what your Iman means to you, whether in 2/3 lines or pages as you wish, “What Does Your Iman Mean To You”. Put the words out and let it keep flowing.
In sha Allah, you would get a response from me in a form of encouragement, advice, du’a or any other way. 😁
To interact better, drop your response in my mail —
muhammednuhurafiat@gmail.com
BarakaAllah Feek 💕
Once again, I look forward to hearing from you.
Maa’salaam.
